Rappers Jelly Donut, Ashkon, and Daveed Diggs swallow the pretentious flavors of the New York foodie scene.
“Foodie” mp3: https://soundcloud.com/jelly-donut/foodie
Yo, this goes out to all you kale-chewin’, micro-brewin, fermentation fetish, artisanal lettuce, farmer’s market motherfuckers. If you didn’t read it on my profile on Ok Cupid, I got one thing to tell you, stupid.
Yo, I’m a FOODIE, I’m a fuckin FOODIE! Yours truly, I’m a f*ckin’ FOODIE!
Ratatouille’s my favorite f*ckin’ movie, ask my crew, G, we just watched it Tuesday
‘cause we are foodies! Yo, spell it out.
F double O, D, I, E, foodie, Only let the best shit go through me
Where’s my amuse bouche I’m getting’ moody, Hold the gluten or I’m shootin’ my uzi!
Hold up… I’m in a nine mile line for a mutha-f*ckin’ cronut
Half croissant and half donut, Did I forget to mention I’m a grown up?!
This foodie loves makin’ smoothies with a protein boost from vegan boobies
take your time girl, i WILL WAIT, for the breast milk in my MILF SHAKE
Yo hipstah, Suit up, I’m in hot pursuit of that food truck
I got an app to track exactly where the truck goes that has that macaroni made from organic yak bologna that gives me gas attacks and makes me crap REAL hard. i wish i knew how to quit you food truck, but I’m a…
FOODIE, I’m a f*ckin FOODIE! Yours truly, I’m a f*ckin’ FOODIE!
I Yelp reviewed my Grandma’s homemade cookies, They taste like dookie,
Zero stars, Granny, Cause I’m a FOODIE. “You are an awful grandson.”
Ohhhh Shit! I got a yogurt boner (what?) i wear it like a toga
I got drunk on brunch mimosas and puked French toast up on the hostess
Infatuated with farm to table, I eat my bagel on a farmer’s navel
Fuck dat, I just strip down naked and drape myself in strips of bacon
WE HATE OUR RELATIONSHIP, fight whenever we say some shit
But there ain’t no complications when the conversation sticks ta just tasting shit
“Mmm… that is nice.” “Yeah, and the oakiness of this sustainable red almost eclipses its harsher notes of leather…” “I hate your sister.” “I let your father fingerbang me.”
“Cronut, is that you?… Oh man, I’m trippin. Why must you taunt me!!?”
Foodie, you’ve been waiting patient in this line for ages
you’ve celebrated birthdays here, and gone through new life stages (Whaa!)
Some say you have wasted time, but can’t you almost taste it?
They’ll be jealous when they see my cronut nuts stuffed in your face bitch!
Cronut?! that’s some old stuff, NAW my tongue needs something newer
How ‘bout aged cheese made from cage-free rats that live in the sewer?
Or organic deep-fried angel taints on a unicorn horn skewer?
This foodie’s tasted everything on Mother Earth, so screw her
“Goodbye, I’m going to outer space now.”
“Holy shit… that guy really is a –“
FOODIE, I’m a f#ckin FOODIE! Yours truly, I’m a fuckin’ FOODIE!
(Word to your kombucha mother)
Ratatouille’s my favorite fuckin’ movie, wanna watch it Tuesday? Cause we-
“Jelly Donut, party of three.” “Oh thank God, I was going to eat my own dick.”